I find myself slowly accepting my new normal that has been in place for 7 months now. I am a stubborn person. What can I say. I accept that 4-5 days out of every 14 I won’t feel good. I have done things to make them easier. Like using paper plates and plastic cutlery. I have asked some people to visit me while I am secluding myself to my house on those days.
I embrace that I need to work extra hard the other days of the week to make up for being away from work. I schedule based on how my recovery from chemo functions for me.
I go to bed around 630-800 every night due to fatigue. I try for 10-12 hours of sleep every night to give me energy to get through work.
I am honest about what is going on. On what I am thinking, what I am feeling, how God is sculpting this.
I am starting to do yoga because it helps me feel better but doesn’t tax my body too much.
I listen to my body and what it craves. Right now it is anything fruit (which is odd because for the past 7 months it had no interest in fruit). It craves, it gets. I assume it needs something in there and that is how it is relaying that information to me.
I am putting things in place that will make any potential passing easier for my family. I don’t want them to have to worry about such things.
I have found an online support group which is helping to know there are survivors out there. Survivors for people who had worse scenarios than me. (American Cancer Society!!)
Basically instead of fighting the life I now have as a potential permanent path, I am embracing it. I am finding ways to work with it. I am trying to make things easier. I am trying to schedule fun things to do on my weekends off from chemo. I am embracing life. I am embracing my new normal. It isn’t ideal but I am embracing it. It took a while to get there. A long time to get there… but finally I am.