I am at a crossroads. Things have changed again, but this time for the good. Heck this time for the great! I am feeling so good. Since I go the anemia shot and started acupuncture I am back to me. I feel like me. I think back to the me of the past 3 months and cringe. She was so unhappy, so hopeless.
Now with this beautiful weather the northeast is getting (heck it was 75F yesterday… in FEBRUARY!!) I am just itching to do stuff. I am itching to be in paddocks with horses. I am itching to get muddy. I want to move. At nights I am no long going to bed at 6:30 like I had for months. Heck I do not know what to do with myself after 6:30.
I just want to be on the move all the time. I am convinced that acupuncture is helping me. I was starting to drag yesterday and then had acupuncture. Now I am rip roaring ready to go. It could be because I am visiting Dill this afternoon.
I haven’t seen my boy (yeah he is my boy… still possessive of that huge boy) since I said good bye in December. I can’t wait to see his eye rolls and sighs at seeing me. I can’t wait to hug his neck (no matter how much he thinks that is a stupid thing to do) and smell his horsey smell. I am bouncing out of my chair right now to get to go and see him.
If you would have asked me 4 weeks if I could go to see him, I would have told you it would take too much energy. I hope this lasts. I hope I can keep feeling like me. This is me, bouncing around with joy and horrible jokes. I don’t want to go back to that hopeless version of me. I want to stay this obnoxiously joyful person that I am.
I don’t think about death any more. I don’t think about where my path might lead. I am in the present again. Oh it feels so good. Oh hope feels so great!