Today I write from my chemo chair. I am sitting here in this crazy good mood. It makes no logical sense for me. But here I am sitting here full of joy as poisons are pumped into my heart.
This morning I showed up for treatment. Handed my new insurance card, since the insurance company switched at work. And the insurance company wanted everything pre certified. I was told I would need to come back another day for treatment but could see the doctor today. This upset me as I had asked at my last treatment if they wanted my new insurance card to prepare for this one and was told no.
When I was in the room with my doctor, I informed her of the insurance thing. Well it took about an hour but I got approved for treatment. I was sitting here thinking how funny this is. Two treatments ago I would have taken the option of skipping this treatment and waiting till the next one. Whereas now I am sitting here fighting for my poison.
Is it because I am now doing a different battle? Now I am on more of a maintaining treatment regimen instead of the fighting regimen? I don’t know. But I didn’t want to miss my treatment.
I am sitting here in a glowing happy mood. I am having my drugs pumped into me to maintain me. I know this treatment is possibly going to be easier on me without my hardest hitting drug in the cocktail. I have made preparations for making treatment easier at home. I have set up suet bird feeders to watch. I have purchased a horse head squirrel feeder for amusement.. I just need to set it up outside.
I am excited to see how this treatment is easier. I am excited to see what my new normal will be with one less drug.
But I am also excited about all the beautiful things God has been doing in my life. Sitting here in my own personal silence I am enjoying the love and goregousness of the snow we had last night. I am sitting here enjoying one of the cancer survivors who came in and filled the treatment center with joy.
I am just happy to be here. I am happy to be alive. I am happy to have my beautiful child. I am happy for the blessings that have been coming my way. I am happy to have my Poison.