Thanks- princess n the boulder

Day 10 of thanksgiving 
I am thankful for a good night’s sleep. The past few weeks I haven’t slept well. Nightmares and waking up frequently have been the course, no matter what sleep aids I took. However last night I only woke up once and it wasn’t from a nightmare. It was a good and restful sleep. So thankful for it!!!


Thankful house

Day 9 of thankfulness 
I am thankful for my tiny house. It is cute. It has personality. And it has lots of sunlight. It’s in a great school district. God blessed me when He led me to this house. It is just enough space for kiddo, Digit, Harley and I. And I have amazing neighbors and a wonderful view!!!

7 days of thanks!!!

Long overdue month of thankfulness. Number by day I’ve missed. 1. Thankful for my God is healing me. Who is answering prayers in unexpected ways. Who challenges me and takes away my crutches. It is for my best. 

2. Thankful for my family who has my back 

3. Thankful with my friends who stand beside me through thick and thin

4. Thankful for those that let me be honest when things are tough and rough.  

5. Thankful for having cancer. I know I hate it at the same time. But I can’t remember being happier or leaning more on God and trusting Him more. 

6. Thankful for kiddo. Bc of cancer I appreciate her even more. This child that comes up with the oddest things, keeps me on my toes, makes my jaw drop, and makes me happier than I can express. 

7. Thankful for my job. This is a job I’ve waited years for and I love it. I love the people I work for.

More things gone

Recently I’ve been thinking sadly of the things I’ve lost because of cancer.  

Neuropathy. I can’t feel completely the bottom of my feet.  This came from my first time battling the Ugly C. 

The long view of life is now fuzzy.  With the shortened life span the drs give me. 

Every other weekend.  Now I have to sleep through 4 days straight to just try and work full time.  

Energy.   I have less energy.  I want to go to bed early every night. 

Free time.  I’m limited on what I have.  I’m sleeping.  I’m healing.  Trying to keep life running.  I just don’t have the time I used to have.  

Books.  I used to have a book always with me. Any free time and I was reading.  Chemo the first time around just made it hard to stay concentrated on a book. In 3 1/2 years I have not read a book. I do listen to audio books nonstop.  But I’m always multitasking. 

Computer games.   Same as books.  But this is a new addition with this time through chemo. 

Careless living.  That goes out the door when drs say only a few years left. 

Long term plans. How much can you plan ahead with that over your head?

Now Dill.  The travel to him is eating up too much time.  An hour and half round trip is getting harder with my lack of energy and resulting free time.  

Its insult to injury at this point.  I’ve been saying, and I still believe it, that God will do something amazing through this.  I’m just afraid of what more will be asked of me.  How much more will I need to give?   

God, i will do it.  Just let me know it turns out Good in the end.