The Light Shines on Hopelessness

After 5 days of feeling like the world is crumbling around me, today I am back into the glory and light. I needed to take a part day for FMLA yesterday to get extra sleep and it was just what my body needed.  Because today I am in a world that is bright and sunny verses where I was a few days ago.  Even though it is sleeting outside, I am filled with joy and happiness.  The yo-yo attacks again, but this time I am glad for the swing.


This morning I decided to listen to a podcast sermon. I do that time to time but I figured what the heck this morning.  So I Opened up my list of podcasts I had been ignoring for a while and saw one titled “ Doing the right thing isn’t always easy” by Mark Gungor.  So I clicked on it.  And it was what my heart needed to hear.  He went over how many people in the Bible suffered for doing the right thing, but in the end resulted in something beautiful and good.

While I still don’t know how this will end for me, I am hopeful that God will make some beautiful thing out of this. He will make blessings abound for this.  And it was exactly what I needed to hear, that God is going to do something great.  There is going to be something beautiful for what I am being asked to endure.

I have decided I need to find a way to make the 5 days of feeling miserable from treatment into something good. I really don’t have any ideas.  That is when the darkness consumes me.  It is when I feel the most miserable and hopeless.  I need to find a way to make those days into a blessing.  But how to go about that is puzzling to me.  I curl up on the couch and sleep off and on.  I don’t do much because I don’t feel like it.  Also the pump annoys me so I try to move as little as possible.

Any suggestions anyone can offer would be appreciated. I do need to find something to make joy during the darkness.

God is good. He will do what is best in the most amazing way.  I just need to keep walking the path.



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