A marionette on strings. That is what I am. I do not actively participate in what happens to me, rather I respond to how the strings dance.
I find myself in the most horrible of plays. I find myself in a play where my life is on the line. Those around me are forced to watch with horror. There is not much they can do but observe. With each tweak of a string, I move towards what is God’s goal. I move towards His ultimate plan. However, I do not know what that is. I know it is for His glory but I really want to cut those string and run. I want the scene of the play to change. I want to know that I will not die the horrible death that cancer causes.
I cry out for a change of scene. I cry out for a foretelling like so many plays have. A hint at what will be coming down the path. Maybe someone can come and hint that I will make it through this horror and on the other side will be glory and joy. On the other side I will live in happiness. But so far no foretelling has come. So far my strings are just being pulled to make me take yet another step towards the pending gloom.
I am stuck in this Greek tragedy. I am stuck watching my feet move towards a cliff. I am stuck watching more and more things being removed from my sources of joy. And yet there is nothing I can do. I am attached to these strings. I am not able to remove the strings.