More things gone

Recently I’ve been thinking sadly of the things I’ve lost because of cancer.  

Neuropathy. I can’t feel completely the bottom of my feet.  This came from my first time battling the Ugly C. 

The long view of life is now fuzzy.  With the shortened life span the drs give me. 

Every other weekend.  Now I have to sleep through 4 days straight to just try and work full time.  

Energy.   I have less energy.  I want to go to bed early every night. 

Free time.  I’m limited on what I have.  I’m sleeping.  I’m healing.  Trying to keep life running.  I just don’t have the time I used to have.  

Books.  I used to have a book always with me. Any free time and I was reading.  Chemo the first time around just made it hard to stay concentrated on a book. In 3 1/2 years I have not read a book. I do listen to audio books nonstop.  But I’m always multitasking. 

Computer games.   Same as books.  But this is a new addition with this time through chemo. 

Careless living.  That goes out the door when drs say only a few years left. 

Long term plans. How much can you plan ahead with that over your head?

Now Dill.  The travel to him is eating up too much time.  An hour and half round trip is getting harder with my lack of energy and resulting free time.  

Its insult to injury at this point.  I’ve been saying, and I still believe it, that God will do something amazing through this.  I’m just afraid of what more will be asked of me.  How much more will I need to give?   

God, i will do it.  Just let me know it turns out Good in the end. 

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2 thoughts on “More things gone”

  1. How timely. Just a little bit ago I was angry and frustrated. Had a bit of the why me and sulking that goes with it.
    Then…. I read this.
    Thank you for the perspective and the kick in the butt I needed.
    I truly DO believe that something good will come out of it..
    I think it already is. If I someone you have not met can be so touched by your story and words..then who else is? Your going world wide with the message dear…world wide.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t think of any better encouragement. Thank you for being a blessing. I just NEED to know this serves a purpose so bad. Why else would a gal in her thirties end up with life threatening cancer when there’s no family history of any type of cancer, let alone colon cancer.

      You have given me greater hope than I’ve had in a while that this serves a purpose. Thank you more than I can express!!

      Liked by 1 person

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