Oh Why? Time for Moaning

So why again am I almost 37 and single?  Why again am I sitting here watching Netflix by myself?

Oh yeah,  I haven’t found someone yet.  Grumble.

I want someone to call me beautiful.  I haven’t heard that from someone who loved me in a few years at the point.  I miss being someone’s beautiful.  I miss feeling like a princess.  I miss having someone to take care of and love (not in a mom kid fashion… just to clarify).

On the date with the “What does No Mean guy” he asked me how someone like me could be single still.  Why hadn’t I been snatched up?  It didn’t feel like a pickup line.  That wasn’t his way.  It seemed sincere.  But what do I answer to that question?  “because no one has wanted me?”That seems to be the basic truth.  Sure I can say “because I haven’t found the one yet?”  “Because God has the right one picked out but it isn’t time yet?”or is it “because there is something wrong with me?”

At this point I don’t know any more.  I have only been doing the online dating thing for 2 months.  And being a single parent makes getting out on dates tough.  I don’t have that much free time.

I am just frustrated.  I have only been out on a few dates but still I have been single for over 5 years.  And yes I have grown a lot in that time.  I have been through a lot.  But romantically, what do I have to show for it?

My kid desperately wants me to be married.  So add pressure there.  Add the fact that I feel lonelier by the day any more.

I am tired of being alone.  I was alone for much of my marriage.  Isn’t 11 years alone enough?  At some point it should be right?

So when it goes back to the question of “Why would someone like you be on the market still?” , I really have to question it.

By the way, dating sucks,   just to clarify….



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