Life has thrown more then what I have deemed my fair share of curve balls. But I can still smile and laugh. I have this beautiful child that is a constant reminder of joys in life. She says things that baffle me. She has insights I never thought she could connect. And when she is around there is constant laughter and silliness. She brings it out in me. She brings the child out in me but in a more carefree way than I experienced as a child.
I have wonderful friends who are a constant blessing. I love them all dearly and can’t thank God enough for having led me to them. I was lead to them through the Knight that is still an important part of my life.
For once in my life, the end of a romantic relationship didn’t result in anger and spite. This time, I would do about anything to keep him in my life. He is so critical to my life that I want him there. His smile makes me smile. His hugs make the world a bit safer. I still love him. I doubt that will ever go away. But right now I think that is okay. Right now I can’t tell him such things. He has his own battles he is fighting. He has his own demons to deal with. So for now I am standing by him, if only as a friend. I am standing there and refusing to leave. He is too important. And I wish there was a way to tell him but for now, I will stand silently by and be what he needs most, a friend.