The Fear Of Falling

Last lesson stunk.  Tristan was annoyed with me.  I was annoyed with me.  I think my trainer was frustrated with me.  It just wasn’t a good lesson.

I think Kiddo’s fall a few weeks back shook me up.  The realization of the pending fall scares me.  I haven’t had my first fall and I know it is coming.  It is a fact that it will eventually happen the more you ride horses.  You will fall.  However, my fear of it is actually making the looming action more and more likely.

I jump at every little thing.  When Kiddo’s horse (Calli) spooked, and consequently caused Tristan to spook with me on his back, I squealed in fear.  Which of course that made Tristan spook even more.

Kiddo kissing Calli
Kiddo kissing Calli
Kiddo and Calli
Kiddo and Calli

My fear is making things worse.

But how many times is life like that?  Fear amplifying that which we have no control over.  Fear of things that haven’t yet occurred and might not.  Far making things 100x worse then they need to be.  Life is going to be falls and bruises.  Life is a bunch of unpredictable events.  Even when things in life seem to show patterns, nothing is guaranteed.  And all the fear does, is show us what could be the worst case scenario.  Fear causes failure before it even happens.  Fear shows us what we most hope never happens and makes it a reality, when it might not be.

The funny thing, or maybe ironic thing, is back when I was on chemo treatments, Tristan tripped.  At the time I thought “I am going over his head.  This is it.  I am going to fall.”  But there wasn’t any fear, it was all matter-of-fact.  I need to get back there.

So hopefully today’s lesson will happen, even with the extreme cold.  And hopefully I will get back up on Tristan and will enjoy every single moment, with no fear!

Tristan

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3 thoughts on “The Fear Of Falling”

  1. Chin up, breathe and go ride again 🙂 I’m sure Tristan’s already looking for you and his carrots already 🙂 Maybe try to think of how strong you are, braving the cold! If anything, relax through the fall 🙂 A more relaxed body absorbs the shock better than a tense one.

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  2. I recently went through a huge bout of horse-related anxiety, and the result was more and more terrible rides, one of which could accurately be named the worst ride of my entire life. I understand how you feel, completely!

    I found reading about anxiety and how to manage it was helpful. I also told myself (out loud) that my horse is not out to hurt me, she wants us to have a good ride too. I also used a self-hypnosis app to try and adjust my behaviour when I find myself in a situation that is frightening.

    Something worked, and I wish I could tell you what it was, but my fears are fading fast, and my horse and I are having the time of our life. Good luck with your equestrian journey – never give up!

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  3. I think those of us who fell off when we were youngsters are lucky. You’re made of rubber and usually land unharmed. The more relaxed you can be about falling, the better the landing – usually. When I reach that ‘point of no return’ – I’m coming off and there’s nothing I can do about it – I try to go limp and hope for the best. Bracing is the worst thing you can do.
    Falling is NOT inevitable, so try focus on what you WANT, as opposed to what you don’t want. You want to ride forward, softly, your horse on the aids. Give yourself a little mantra (like the word ‘harmony’) to repeat to yourself. It may help yourself drown out those negative thoughts. Best of luck!

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