There has been a lot going on in my life recently. These past two weeks have not gone how I hoped. I had hoped to have three weeks between my last treatment and me going back to work. I had hoped for those 3 weeks to rest and recouperate and hopefully feel more normal before returning to work. This has not happened at all.
My grandparents have required a lot of attention from myself and other family members. A lot of my energy has gone into that. I have had a wide variety of meetings on each day. Every day of my final week before work has something scheduled.
I wanted three weeks to get my house back in order. I wanted three weeks to sleep. I wanted all my side effects gone before going back to work.
NONE OF THIS HAS HAPPENED.
I am glad I can be here to help with my grandparents. I am glad I could help those I love so dearly. Please do not get me wrong.
But at the same time, I feel so exhausted, so frustrated and so demoralized.
I was so overly optimistic of these side-effects going away before returning to work. But instead the neuropathy has gotten so much worse. I am going to accupuncture, which is the only recommendation my oncology dr. could make. But it isn’t an easy fast cure. I guess to get better it has to hurt worse. My hands are constantly in pain. I stumble frequently due to the numb feet. I have to be so careful on steps and driving.
I am just frustrated. I sit here wondering “What’s going to happen next?”