What’s Next???

There has been a lot going on in my life recently.  These past two weeks have not gone how I hoped.  I had hoped to have three weeks between my last treatment and me going back to work.  I had hoped for those 3 weeks to rest and recouperate and hopefully feel more normal before returning to work.  This has not happened at all.

My grandparents have required a lot of attention from myself and other family members.  A lot of my energy has gone into that.  I have had a wide variety of meetings on each day.  Every day of my final week before work has something scheduled.

I wanted three weeks to get my house back in order.  I wanted three weeks to sleep.  I wanted all my side effects gone before going back to work.

NONE OF THIS HAS HAPPENED.

I am glad I can be here to help with my grandparents.  I am glad I could help those I love so dearly.  Please do not get me wrong.

But at the same time, I feel so exhausted, so frustrated and so demoralized.

I was so overly optimistic of these side-effects going away before returning to work.  But instead the neuropathy has gotten so much worse.  I am going to accupuncture, which is the only recommendation my oncology dr. could make.  But it isn’t an easy fast cure.  I guess to get better it has to hurt worse.  My hands are constantly in pain.  I stumble frequently due to the numb feet.  I have to be so careful on steps and driving.

I am just frustrated.  I sit here wondering “What’s going to happen next?”

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